as i mature

As i mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in

I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion,no proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others- they are more screwed up than you think.I've learned that 99% of the time when something does not work in the house either the kids or the dogs did it.

Iv'e learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and the less important ones just never go away.

Iv'e learned as soon as you have kids you find out how patient a person you are.

I've learned as i mature life matures with me how fast it goes is up to you.

last day of the holidays

Today was the last day of the holidays , i am back to work tommorow, Stephanie is back to school Wednesday and Jamie is back next Monday.

We all went to friends for a B.B.Q yesterday which was great fun Andy and his mate John managed to drink a whole bottle of bacardi between them, hence guess who drove home.The weather was awful but a great time was had by all.

Andy has spent the afternoon making a run for Bruno who doesn't think much of it at the moment. But as everything with a puppy he will get used to it.We are now getting a full nights sleep and have also had our first set of injections, 2 weeks to go and then he can go outside and we can start to get him used to the outdoors.

Rugby season starts next weekend so that will be the weekends filled up until the end of April, Andy and Jamie have their first match next Saturday, i will have to think of something for Stephie and i to do,Although if it's not raining the trampoline has been a godsend.

Sleepover

Stephanie and Jamie had their friends Jayde and Ryan to stay last night, I decided this was probably the best day as i was no doubt going to be awake half the night with new puppy (Bruno). As it was the kids were as good as gold and Bruno went to sleep about 11pm and then got up about 5am so i did get a better nights sleep.

I have Karlene coming tommorow to sit the dogs as we are taking the kids to Chesington World of Adventures . We usually do one of the theme parks with them during the hols, this time we
thought we would do this park as it has more rides Stephanie can go on.

Peace at home at last,the kids are in bed and Tyson is asleep in his bed,Bruno asleep in his cage, Andy is out, so iam going to have a glass of wine and chill with a good film.

New Addition

I have now decided i must be bonking mad. Last night Andy and I came home with a 6week old Boxer x lab puppy. I had forgotten the sleepless nights with all the towels and the toilet training and the extra feeds they need.

We did a trip to the vets today to get him checked out and to get his injection. Unfortunately i have to go back on saturday morning to get that done.
We have decided to call him Bruno ,he is black with a white breastplate and a slash of white coming down the centre of his face. I am not sure how he is going to turn out but he seems to have a boxer face and body of a labrador with a tail. Tyson has his tail docked but we are going to keep Bruno with his.

I am sure i will regret this but i felt so sorry for this little bundle when i saw him last night,that we had to give him a chance of a good home. Poor Andy i do feel sorry for him to be married to a nightmare like me but Andy named him so we have that.

No peace

You can certainly tell the kids are back home i have spent the weekend it seems answering the blasted doorbell. Don't get me wrong i love it the kids have lots of friends but a bit of peace and qiet would be very nice. Stephanie has had everyone over to have a go on her trampoline. Andy has got so fed up with it now he has put time limits on it!!!!!!!!.

It is good to have the house once again filled with laughter and the sounds of delight ,exept when you get the girls screaming . Why is it girls feel the need to scream?
i'm sure i never did when i was out playing but that lot out in the garden seem to reach new heights on the decibal chart.

We are now organising the sleepovers and days out. I shall be glad to go back to work after the bank holiday. I shall put the flags out when they go back to school,( no i am only joking).

Shopping

Both the kids came home with quite a bit of their holiday money so as promised we all went into Southampton today to go and spend it. We also had to do the horrible job of getting the school shoes and the last few bits of school stuff,Andy also had to take our computer into the shop to get fixed as we both have had enough of Jamie's being so slow.

Jamie went and bought himself a new gameboy sp and Stephanie bought herself a 8ft trampoline which Andy and i put together this afternoon.

We have all had fun on it and hopefully Stepahanie will go to sleep straight away tonight, she didn't stop bouncing all afternoon. The good thing about the one she has got is that it has an enclosure around it so it is totally safe.

The bad thing about this, is i have now lost the middle part of my garden where my washing line went so at some point we are going to have rig something up so i can put some washing out. The things we do for our kids , if you knew me you would know how much i love my garden and trampolines were not ever on my list for it.

the kids are home

Jamie and Stephanie finally have arrived home to much greeting by their friends and Tyson.
They both look so healthy and tanned ,i'm not to sure what my mum has been feeding them both but they have both got a little chubby in places so i think the odd ice cream and chocolate will be stopped for a while.
They both went to T/kwando last night as they have another grading next week ,poor Andy for the time they were gone he had the door bell rung about 30 times (are Jamie and Stephanie coming out). The news was out they were back what it is to have such popular children. Andy has decided he is going to send them away for the whole hols next year, he has to be joking that will not happen. No doubt i will get that all day today with the door so i think i will switch the bell off.

I am on holiday now yipeeeeeeeeee all i need now is some sunny weather to take the kids out and get in my garden to tidy that up two whole weeks off work.Sadly andy is not off and he has to go to work which means the alarm still goes off at 6.30 then the dog wakes up to go for a walk so i don't know how many lie-ins i will get. Still who cares i'm on hols.

only one day left

We had a really good weekend I had to go to lunch with friends on Saturday and then i had to be home by 2pm as we were then going to Leamington Spa to visit Jamies godfather and our best man.

We had a really good time and stayed in a lovely hotel with a four poster bed( you guessed it i really want one now) it had drapes going over it and was very romantic . The hotel had an indoor pool so we had a swim then a lovely meal with our friends ,lots to drink and good conversation.

We got totally spoiled and then were taken out for lunch on the sunday. It was our last weekend without the kids and was a great way to finish of the time we have had to ourselves.

I go tommorow to pick them both up from Gatwick and i am taking Stephanie's friend Jayde up with me to surprise her. I can't wait to get them home now and will have 2weeks off with them untill they go back to school. Yippeeeee roll on TOMMOROW.

tidy up

Well the house has been an utter pigsty for the last three weeks so today when i got in from work i set about putting everything in it's correct place.

Isn't it amazing how much junk we seem to pick up, i have decided i am going to be really ruthless and chuck everything out that hasn't been used in the last 6 months.
The trouble with me is i hate throwing anything out as i think well one day i may just need that so i put it in a box mark it up and put it in the attic. Andy is just about as bad as me but we need to put proper boarding down in the attic now so a big turnout it will have to be.

It will be our last weekend of freedom coming up and so we are deciding what to do with it , i knew i shouln't have got the carpet fitter coming on saturday as now if we do plan anything we can't set off till saturday afternoon. We can get Tyson looked after no problem, everybody loves him slobber an all, so we may just get in the car and see where it leads and just take an overnight bag just in case.

Don't get me wrong i can't wait to have my two cherubs home again.

Tiles

Well my wonderfull hubby has now put tiles down in the bathroom he has done a bit of an allright job as it was his first go. Sorry his second go as he did the hallway first. He has had a few extra days off and has also put all brass handles on the doors and all the light switches and sockets.

I have now got new curtains up at the landing window, all we have to do now is wait for the carpet for the stairs and landing , then we are finished i think we will hang the flags out then.

I have just about finished painting Stephanie's shelves to go in her wardrobe, when she rang the other night i told a very small white lie and said that they had all been done.
So Andy and i will get our skates on and make sure that we kept our promise.

It is a week today they both come home they are having a great time and jumping of the side of my parents boat and swimming to shore, the waters are crystal clear and they have found their very own private little bay with its own sandy beach. I just wish i was there as i havn't had much chance to get any sun with the decorating. Never mind i am off to New York in October to see my friend Samantha.

Friends

My old friend Chris came round yesterday,it was a change as he usually visits and seems to miss Andy.I have known Chris since i was 16 i met him when he was at the local nautical college where my dad worked. He now has his masters and is away at sea for 5 months at a time.

I am very lucky as i still keep in touch with him, also my friend samantha and my friend Len all of these people i met while they were at college and even though i have lost touch with them for some parts we have been friends for over 23 yrs.

The kids often call Chris mums boyfriend we often take them to the flicks ,as he has no children of his own and so he can borrow mine.Andy will get in from work and the kids say we have been out with mum's boyfriend . Its a good job Andy gets on so well with him and always turns round and said:- OH chris been round then.

I still have friends of which i started senior school with and we still get together our kids have grown up with each other and we always get together in the hols.

I feel very lucky that i am still friends with all these people and no matter what happens they are there for me as i am for them.

Alton Towers

We set of later than expected friday as my brother was late picking up the dog.Andy managed to drive as far as Winchester services then said he was knackered so i had to drive.
It is typical when he lets me drive any other car than mine we seem to spend half the time in gridlock, he quite happily falls asleep and i creep along at o miles an hour.

We got to Ashbourne checked into the hotel it was lovely and was only 15miles from Alton Towers.

The day was fantastic ,great weather,we managed to do all the horrific rides exept for oblivion which had broken down.We got the front carriage for the corkscrew( major roller coaster) i was pleased with myself i kept my eyes open for that one and have got a great photo.We even did Nemesis, what a rush that was in the end the head went down and the eyes stayed shut.We did all the water rides and also had a characacture done what a laugh that was.

A brill day and weekend was had by both of us.Tommorow it will be putting the final touches to the hall and then start getting the place sorted out for the kids to come home on the 18th.

Another trip

We are all booked up for another weekend away without the kids. This time we are going to Alton Towers , Andy has not been before and i went such a long time ago it should be great fun. The good thing is we shall be able to go on everything as we will not have to worry about the old height restrictions.

The dog is taken care of my brother is having him as he is planning on going over to the New Forest with friends fo the weekend, all tho
se lovely rabbits to chase ,he will have a whale of a time.We are planning on coming back sunday as Andy wants to finish the tiling and i will have to touch up on the paintwork . The carpet comes next weekend so we have to be finished my then. I don't have to back to work till tuesday so monday will be spent doing nothing i deserve it.

LIFE

I saw this written down once and thought how beautifull it was

Hopefully andy will remember to have someone read it at my funeral:-

With every passing minute there is a chance to turn it around.
Another chance to turn it around and i will find you again.
I will see you again
With those minutes they will turn into eternity.

I often think i hope i live to see my children grow up, the thought of leaving them while still so young fills me with dread . I think any mum having given birth puts their children before anything . Have we taught them enough of our morals to see them through and hopefully carry them on?.Do we tell them enough that we love them?

I feel
so lucky the way my children have turned out so far.I still get a kiss and cuddle from my 13yr old son every night and told he loves me ,and my 9 yr old daughter is the same.Stephanie is extra special as i lost her twin brother at 16weeks from a car crash,it was touch and go with her and constantly in the hospital on the heart moniters she eventually arrived at 5lb 40z after being induced as her heart kept stopping.I then got told no more children , i have often resented the fact that i was not given the chance to decide myself whether i wanted any more but at the end of the day i have one boy and one girl and feel very lucky to have that.

a surprise for me

It being a really horrible day at work today and then having to go and do one of my other jobs straight after,i came home to find andy allready there.

Well bless him, he had work called off about 10am and came home did all the ironing, cut the tiles to go on the floor,put the covers back on the settee and then we went to b&qWhich i seem to be living in at the moment).We bought the grout and adhesive plus a few tools he said he needed.

There is me thinking what a wonderfull hubby i have!then he started, i parked the car in the wrong place according to him i went the long way home.etc etc. Why is it when they really surprise you and do something great they go and spoil it by being a typical man.

He has redeemed himself later by laying loads of tiles which is hilarious to watch the dog trying to walk over.So i can say tonight i love my hubby.

Brugge

Andy and i had the most beautifull day in Brugge on sunday.NO kids and a day all to ourselves it was bliss.We went on one of the boat rides to see the sites but ran out of time to go on the horse and carriage i think that will be a must if we go again

my favourite was the chocs , i think i had died and gone to heaven.Every other shop seemed to be a chocolate shop filled wilth the most beautifull and tantilising smell.Well how could i resist especially as i found my favourite Bailey's.They had milk choc ones and white choc ones the only trouble was we kept on eating them as we walked along and had to keep stopping to stock up on some more. we could have done with going with someone who new brugge better than we did as i must admit we did get lost a couple of times

Needless to say we were both shattered when we got back in the early hours of this morning and had to go back to work today,we also had to pick up Tyson who had a great time with our friends kids he put himself to bed and has slept since.

We shall now have to plan our next escape for this weekend.